I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
