How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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