just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
