I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
