I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
