I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
