If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
