So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
