just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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