idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
