You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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