And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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