last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
