just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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