we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
