capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
