I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
