soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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