also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
