She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
