what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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