The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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