i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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