My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
