Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
