Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
