This girl is more easily done than said...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
