you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
