so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
