People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
