so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
