Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
