i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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