Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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