I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
