what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
