she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
