every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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