So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
