I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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