Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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