and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
