dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
