I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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