Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
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