I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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