The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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