I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
ugly people sure do ruin things
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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