i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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