I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
