i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
high people should be assigned attendants
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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