ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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